Lovely Leaves

It's hard to be a Minnesotan sometimes. It's joked that we have 2 seasons: winter and road construction; that our state "bird" is the mosquito; and our professional sport teams...don't even get me started on them. 

But this autumn is what it's all about. It's why I love living here. We have four distinct seasons and I think spring and autumn are the best. Spring because we are all coming out of our hibernation that winter in the midwest brings and fall because Mother Nature uses our state as a beautiful canvas for her creations.

This year the colors have been some of the prettiest I've ever seen. It hasn't hurt that the weather has been beautiful and the backdrop of a bright blue sky perfectly offsets the bright oranges, yellows, reds, greens and even browns. I feel like I'm living in a painting every time I'm outside.

I think I'm enjoying this year's fall beauty even more because I missed it last year. I literally missed an entire season due to a little pneumonia and influenza. I became ill right when things were starting to turn and by the time I was up and functioning again a couple weeks later, it was snowing. Granted the snow started early, but still. It was very depressing to miss a season...especially fall. That last beautiful breath of fresh air before the frozen tundra. And although winter starts out with my favorite time of year (I love the holidays) it unfortunately doesn't end there. If only winter was November through January. I could handle that. 

Alas, it's not. So all the more reason to enjoy the beauty of the season. No looking forward. No looking back. Just living in the moment.

{Also, fun side note, this picture was featured online in a story showcasing some of the prettiest autumn photos from around the country. Somehow I managed to get on the list. Check it out here on Mashable, I'm number 18!}

When we discovered this road I immediately thought of a poem I remember reading in college. The first two stanzas are my favorite:

I hope this autumn has been as beautiful for you as it has been for me! 

xo Sara

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Rain, Rain...Don't Go Away

I've been a little unmotivated recently. 

I haven't written anything new. I'm behind on my reading. And don't even get me started on household chores.

But this morning instead of feeling the anxiety of it all, I felt content.

Because...
even though it's a gloomy morning
and there's rain on my window,
I've got coffee in hand,
mickey on tv,
blanket on,
and my son holding on to me.

It's a good day.

Happy Wednesday, friends.

xo Sara

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Where's the Mommy?

Last April I was going through pictures of the kids from the past year in anticipation for their birthdays. Considering the amount of photos I take on a daily basis, I was not lacking in quantity. 

But then I started noticing a disturbing trend. There were a lot of pictures of E and B. There were a lot of pictures of them with daddy. There were a lot of pictures of our dog. There were a lot of pictures of the entire family, minus one person.

Me. 

Some of that is for an obvious reason--I'm taking the majority of the pictures. And although I'm a "selfie" pro (you know, when I can control the exact angle, filters, etc.), most of the time when I'm taking pictures of the kids it is not practical to be in it with them. Plus, I'm mostly trying to either capture a moment between the kids or I want them to be the focal point of the picture. 

But, sometimes when there are pictures of me with the kids I become hyper-critical of myself and decide I don't like it for whatever reason. I look fat. I hadn't showered yet. I'm not wearing make-up and I look completely washed out. Whatever the ridiculous reason, I decide it's not good enough. And I delete them.

Taking a lot of pictures with my phone is both awesome and bad. Awesome because I take a lot of pictures. Bad because I can quickly flip through those pictures and delete with ease. And before I know it, the set of pictures that had me in them are all gone.

At first when I saw that I was lacking in pictures I thought maybe it was just a fluke. That they were somewhere else or it was just recently that this "epidemic" started. So I went back over our pictures from the past 4 years. And as absent as I was in the past year, there was another year that I was completely missing. 

I was only in a handful of pictures from my daughter's first year. My first baby, the child that made me a mom. I spent that first year (as do most first-time moms I believe) tired. Well, exhausted really. Oh, and when she was 12 weeks old I found out I was pregnant again. So to say that I wasn't exactly in the mood to be photographed would be an understatement.

Regardless, I was there. But there are very few pictures to show my daughter of her and me in her first year. One picture I do have is this one of four generations of women. My grandma, my mom, me and my daughter, taken approximately 12 hours after giving birth.

And to think that it took years for me to like this picture. I always appreciated it but hated how "swollen" and "splotchy" I looked. How ridiculous is that negative self-talk? This isn't about perfection, it's about the moment. And that moment is beautiful. 

I cannot go back and change what has already happened. I can't make pictures that aren't there suddenly appear. But I can make a better effort of being in the pictures with my kids. The last two years that E has been in school I made sure to get a "1st day of school" picture with her. 

September 2013

September 2014

I don't know why I'm so critical of myself but I don't want my daughter to hear that. I don't want my negative self-talk to become her inner voice (I wrote about that here). So I'm making an effort to be IN the picture. And to love them--flaws and all. Because you know what? My daughter loves looking at pictures and loves seeing her family. She's not seeing all the dumb little things I'm seeing, she's seeing her mommy and herself. And she LOVES those pictures.

I need to start seeing pictures through my daughter's eyes.

xo Sara

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Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

When I started this blog my intention was to have fun with it, write about the things I wanted to write about, maybe have some readers that enjoyed my musings and meet other bloggers. I'm so happy that in the six months since I relaunched (almost to the day!) I feel like I have met these goals and I'm continuing to grow.

But my favorite out of all those goals has been meeting other bloggers. Prior to starting this blog I was an avid blog reader and loved interacting with different bloggers on social media. I was constantly inspired by their writing. And since I've been actively blogging it's been fun not just tweeting about, commenting on, or Facebooking about their posts, but about things that I wrote, too. It's been surreal at times to have bloggers that I have admired over the years comment on my stuff. And it's been so wonderful to meet even more bloggers.

Beth from Life with Bethie the Boo is one of those bloggers. She is someone who I've never met in real life but is so supportive in the virtual world. I love her blog which is filled with her style and her fearless nature when it comes to fashion. I also love her honesty and openness when she writes about her life. She beautifully mixes having a fashion blog and writing about her life. And last week she nominated me for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award.

I hadn't heard of this before so I used my trusty friend, Google (who always has the answers I seek), to try to find out the origins of this award. Well, I did some searching and couldn't really come up with a good answer but I did see that it's been around for several years. And even though I'm not sure who started it, the ultimate result of this award is women nominating other women in a show of support with a potential of making even more connections. So, supporting and connecting with other women--win-win. Let's do this! Here are the rules:

-Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.

-Put the award logo on your blog.

-Answer ten questions.

-Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.

-Nominate ten people. 

Without further delay, here are Beth's questions for me, followed by my answers.

1. What does your perfect pizza look like?
Hand-tossed crust with pepperoni and mushrooms. I especially love it made in a wood fired pizza oven.

2. What is your favorite beauty product? 
Well, I'm 36-years old and I've just discovered the amazingness of eyeliner. I'm not kidding, I had no idea.

3. What is the best vacation you've ever been on?
It's hard to narrow that down because vacations are meant to be awesome, right? I loved our honeymoon in Jamaica and a week we spent in San Diego before kids was wonderful. But the best vacation I've ever been on was a simple trip to Las Vegas last year. You know why? Because it was my husband's and my first trip (besides a weekend jaunt to Chicago) without our kids (I wrote about it here), and our kids were 2 and 3 at the time. We needed some time away; it was very important for our marriage. I'm sure this "favorite" will change--we are currently planning a 10-year anniversary trip for this winter. 

4. What are you reading right now?
I'm reading Harry Potter. I'm almost done with the entire series (for the 4th? time); I like to re-read it every few years. It's like visiting old friends. But next up is "Gone Girl." 

5. Coffee, tea or neither?
If you know me, I shouldn't have to answer this. I literally can not imagine my life without coffee. It's a little pathetic.

6. Be honest, do you floss every day?
No. I don't have much else to add to this.

7. Do you like your name or do you wish you could have a different one?  What would you choose if you were to have a different name?
I like my name. Growing up I didn't because everyone was named Sara. I'm not kidding, in every class growing up there were at least 2 other Saras, if not 3. However, I was always the only one spelled S-a-r-a, while everyone else was S-a-r-a-h. That 'h' is so unneeded. 

8. What is your favorite season?
Spring. Or fall. Depends which one we are in or closer to. So, right now, fall.

9. I'm stealing Kristi's here - describe yourself in five words.
Creative, funny, loving, assertive, caffeinated 

10. Are you a vanilla or chocolate fan?
Crazy how that changes--as a child I was all about vanilla. Now I'm in the chocolate camp. 

Nominating ten people is a lot...I think I'll follow Beth's lead on this and nominate four. I nominate the ladies of Wild Ruffle, both Cate and Tammy, Lindsey from Fashion Fix and Rachel from Rachel Greenhouse (il bel far niente).  

Ladies, here are your questions!
1. Why did you start your blog?
2. What is your favorite book?
3. Have you ever colored your hair?
4. What does a perfect morning look like for you?
5. I'm stealing one of Beth's: What was the best vacation you've ever been on?
6. What's a guilty pleasure you have that you're not too embarrassed to share?
7. What's the first concert you ever attended?
8. What's the one thing in your closet you simply could not live without?
9. What 3 items would you bring with you to a deserted island?
10. What song instantly puts you in a good mood?

Thanks again, Beth, this was a lot of fun. Happy Friday, friends!

xo Sara

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The Last Time

Last week my husband emailed me this. It stopped me in my tracks; I thought you might enjoy it, as well.

www.writingwithbangles.com

I share this not as a depressing way to start your week, but as a reminder. A reminder to be grateful for everything: the good, the bad and the ugly. A reminder to savor the moment you are in, no matter how tough that stage may be. Because you never know when this phase will be over and the next one will start.

www.writingwithbangles.com

So I'm embracing this moment. The cuddles, the singing, the craziness, the loudness, the tantrums, the kisses, the stories, the dinosaurs, the princesses, the cars, the blocks (except for the amount of times I step on those darn things!), the fighting, the spilt milk, the messes, the exhaustion and the hugs. All those hugs. I'll never stop hugging, even when they may push me away. So, right now I'll take advantage of them wanting and initiating the affection.

Enjoy every moment. A good reminder.

xo Sara

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A Bad Day

Have you ever heard the saying that bad things happen in threes? 

I had a bad day last week. 1. My son fell and hurt his face. 2. A lack of communication from my daughter's preschool has resulted in her not starting on time. 3. I got sick. It wasn't even over the span of an entire day that these things happened; it was over about an hour, which made it that much worse. Nothing was working, we were all in bad moods and I just wanted the day to end.

Well, the day did end. And the next day was a little better. And then the day after that was even better. As each day passed, nothing seemed as bad as it originally did. 

I simply carried Kleenexes with me everywhere I went. B's swollen lip returned to its normal size and he thankfully had no other major injuries. And with E starting school later, I just get a little extra time with my 4-year-old and who doesn't like that?

Perspective. My "bad day" wasn't really that bad in hindsight. No one likes seeing their kids hurt--physically or emotionally. B's wounds have healed and E's disappointment has been replaced with excitement over some fun activities we're doing this week. And once I get over this cold I will love being able to smell and taste things again. Perspective. 

It's taken me a long time to learn about perspective. As someone who has a history with depression, it used to be the littlest of things that would send me spiraling.

I'm grateful that I can have a bad afternoon and not have a bad week...or longer.

I'm grateful that my dark times aren't so dark.

I'm grateful that when things start to seem gray I can lean on those close to me to help.

I'm grateful that my husband knows me so well that when I start to slip, he's there to catch me...and to help me pick myself back up.

I'm grateful that I'm learning this lesson: 

xo Sara

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