This past Saturday I did something completely outside of my comfort zone. I went to a conference all by myself. It was the Minnesota Blogger Conference for bloggers of all levels--hobbyist to professional--and even non-bloggers. There were sessions covering a wide variety of topics and lots of networking opportunities.
I knew some local bloggers that were going, but they were just women I knew virtually, not in real life (ie: I read their blogs). I was very nervous leading up to the conference. Not knowing anyone and being a beginner blogger was intimidating. My negative self-talk was in full force (you don't belong; people are going to think you're dumb for being there; no one will talk to you) and I almost didn't go.
But, I put on my big-girl pants and went. I checked in and got my cup of coffee (basically my version of a blankie: doesn't everything seem better when you have a cup of coffee?) and walked into the conference room. Then I stopped dead in my tracks (almost spilling the coffee and causing another attendee to trip over me). There weren't rows of seats.
There were tables.
And everyone was talking to other people. Everyone knew someone. They were all a part of the cool crowd.
I was an outsider.
I started to sweat. I looked around for an empty table I could sneak over to. There were none left. Then the realization hit me. I was going to have to approach a table that already had people at it. I would have to--gasp!--talk to other people.
I slowly approached a table that had three people at it that weren't talking. They were all looking at their phones. Cool, I thought. I can do this. I'll just sit down and blend into my surroundings. I'll look at my phone, too. I do that all the time, anyway, so no worries.
I got to the table and one woman looked up. I asked the obligatory "is anyone sitting here?" and finding it was open, I put down my stuff. And I took out my phone.
Finally my heart stopped pounding so hard. I organized my things and did the next natural thing--I took a picture for Instagram. Isn't that what everyone does?
After getting everything positioned the way I wanted, taking the picture, editing it and posting it (because "posting to Instagram" really isn't that simple), I actually looked up. And made eye contact with the woman across the table from me.
I had to say something. I had to make conversation.
So I did. And you know what? It went well. I asked about her blog, she asked about mine. Then the other woman sitting at the table joined in. And then the other woman. And then someone asked to join our table and I did something truly remarkable.
I initiated conversation with her. And I thought I saw a small wave of relief pass over her eyes. And I realized something.
Everyone gets a little intimidated. Some people just hide it better than others. Not one woman at my table had been to this conference before. No one knew other people here. A couple had been blogging for years, a couple of us had just started. A couple others weren't bloggers at all but were there for their jobs. Different backgrounds, different experience, different focuses, but common ground. We all wanted to learn and grow. We all needed to be brave.
It was about taking that first step. The first is the hardest but once you take it, the next step is a little easier. And it's all downhill from there.
I was then able to relax. And learn. My nerves were no longer blocking me from fulling embracing the day and finding lots of inspiration.
There was so much useful information being tossed around that I even took lots of old-fashioned notes (you know, pen on paper).
I'm so grateful that I attended the conference and didn't let my fear win. It would have prevented me from meeting some fabulous women. And by "meet" I mean both those that I met at the conference and those I "met" virtually because I was "live-tweeting" my experience and made even more connections on Twitter. It really was a fantastic day.
And St. Kate's is a beautiful campus. It was a gorgeous fall day and for those few minutes we could sneak outside between sessions, we did.
As I sat on that bench I realized that I could do this. Not just write a blog but be brave. Step outside of my comfort zone. How else will I grow?
I leave you with this: Go forth and be brave!
{A little shout out to the women that helped me be brave: Rebecca from Frantic Mommy, Lori from Healthy Choices Add Up, Tia from Dilettanti Life, and Kimberly from Mommy Savers.}
xo Sara