Cars and Tunnels

I have tunnel vision sometimes. I get so focused on one thing--or obsessed, but I think focused sounds nicer--that other things fall to the wayside.

I had my daughter in May of 2010. We tried for over a year before getting pregnant and had some setbacks along the way, but eventually got our special delivery. 

And then, about 10 weeks later, we found out we were pregnant again. Although we were so happy, we were also very surprised and just a tad overwhelmed.

Having 2 kids so close (11 months apart, to be exact) has it’s pros and it’s challenges. One challenge is that I am constantly comparing the development of my children. 

Elena was very quick with every stage. She was crawling by 6 months, walking by 9 months, and talking a lot by 18 months. But Brandon took his time reaching milestones. He started crawling at 9 months, didn’t walk until 14 months, and didn’t talk much before 24 months. Prior to him reaching those milestones I’d start worrying that something was wrong and be obsessed with trying to get him to do whatever I felt it was time for him to do.

Recently, as he’s quickly approaching his 3^rd birthday, I’ve been pushing colors. All I can think is how early on E knew her colors and can't figure out why B doesn’t seem to get it. Maybe he’s colorblind? What can we do about it? Panic, tunnel vision, panic, tunnel vision...

One morning B and I were playing with his cars and I was doing my typical “what color is this one?” or “what color do you want?” and getting nowhere. When suddenly B started counting the cars. And not to 3. Not even to 5. He counted to 10.

“Mommy, 1 car! 2 car! 3 car…”

I sat there in shock. My tunnel vision of focusing on one area of development had resulted in my not being aware of everything else he was picking up from his sister, father and myself. 

I don’t want to be a mom that puts so much pressure on her kids to do something and ends up missing everything else that is going on along the way. This was a good reminder that just because he isn’t picking up on one thing, doesn’t mean he’s not constantly learning. And you know what? So what if he’s colorblind? If that’s the worst thing…then we are very lucky.

I'm trying to leave my tunnel vision to when I'm playing cars with Brandon. Because everyone knows the best part of playing cars is going through tunnels.

xo Sara

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Splish Splash

I don't like messes. I like things to be orderly and neat.

When my daughter was learning how to feed herself my family would tease me how often I would wipe her hands in the midst of her shoveling food in her mouth. But I don't think there's anything wrong with neat eating, is there?

I cannot leave toys all over the house for extended periods of time. We (because my kids are actually really good at cleaning and it's become a routine) typically pick up mid-morning, before lunch, before dinner and before bed. I absolutely cannot have the kids in bed and still have toys everywhere. I just can't.

Those are a couple non-negotiables.

But a funny thing happened over the past couple of years. Some of my obsessive tendencies have faded a bit.

I used to not only pick-up multiple times everyday, but I would make sure each toy that was a part of a set was placed together, all parts accounted for. I would search high and low, each night, for a piece of pretend fruit that belonged in the picnic basket. I would move furniture to find that one animal that should be a part of the tractor set. I would set up all my daughter's princesses in her castle. And, if for some reason I couldn't find something, it would really bother me. And the next day I would be back at it, looking for those precious missing toys--toys that my kids didn't need or even know were missing. This behavior does not happen anymore. Partly because I've adjusted, partly out of pure exhaustion.

And don't even get me started on dirt and mud.

But, having kids is messy. There will be dirt and mud and toys and paint and more things that make a mess. And, if I hadn't changed a little I don't think I would have been ok with this.

But I am. I'm learning to love it all, messes included. (Full Disclosure: After they were done splashing around & got home, they immediately were placed in the tub to discard the wet clothing. Somethings will never change.)

xo Sara

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