It seems to be the question of the moment: Can you, or more specifically women, have it all?
Jessica Herrin (Founder and CEO, Stella & Dot), was on CNN Newsroom for a segment regarding “What Women Want” (3/11/13) and had this to say on the topic:
What is “having it all?” Isn’t it different for everyone? It should be. We are all so different and have different goals. And the bigger message? Aim for what you truly want…and what you are willing to consistently work for. Things don’t just happen. You don’t just wake up one day “having it all.” You have to work for it. So pick what matters the most, to you, and work for it!
Another part of this quote I love is regarding how we treat ourselves. One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard regarding how tough we can be on ourselves was spoken from a former President:
Don’t you agree? Every time I’m feeling at my lowest and that I’m not doing enough for my family, my business, my marriage it’s because I’m looking at something and comparing my life to it. Usually something on Facebook, which brings me to my next quote:
How often are you sitting in your house, in your pjs, not showered, with kids running around like crazy, with no motivation to do much of anything except to log into Facebook and you see one of these status updates:
- Craft Day! I love organizing all my little ones and all their 10,000 friends around the table for some lovely, peaceful craft time! And the art they come up with…it should be displayed at an art museum!
- Beautiful day for a walk–who would want to stay inside on a day like this?
- Picture: Beautiful mommy (showered, nonetheless, the nerve!) with beautiful children, beautifully posed.
- How lucky am I? For no reason at all my husband sent these (picture of a beautiful bouquet of flowers) and surprised me with a date night!
Well, if you didn’t feel insecure before, I’m guessing there’s a little something weighing on you after your jaunt into Perfectville. The thing is…those moms have the same moments you are having, they just aren’t posting about it. I mean, when I’m sitting, unshowered, with crazies running around me, am I thinking, I should really take a picture to remember this moment forever? Nope. When I look over my own Perfectville page I’m amazed at how perfect, organized, funny, well-behaved, perfect I and my family appear. So by comparing where I am at any given time to a thought-out, edited, perhaps photo-shopped (how do all those moms look so darn perfect?!) picture or status update, I am comparing my real-life to someone’s highlight reel. For real.
And the last part…which I think is the most important…is how we treat other women. I feel like, as a woman, it’s easy to critique and judge. Especially as a mother. It’s part of the game…you talk to your girlfriends about parenting issues and while you get ideas for what you want to try, there’s always that little voice in your head saying, “why would she do that?” (Be honest. We’ve all done it.) No one is going to agree with everyone all the time. We are all different. The difference between disagreeing and judging is all in approach–instead of thinking that woman with the insane parenting philosophy is crazy for doing something a certain way and that your way is the better way and, by default, you are the better mom; think of it as an idea that won’t work for your family but if she’s having success, celebrate her! I find myself slipping into the judging space too often but I am working everyday to change how I think.
Whew! That was a lot. Sometimes I get a little passionate. But back to the main point...what is “having it all” to you? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
xo Sara