I recently read a blog post (Dugan in Cahoots) about turning off the iPhone for an evening and going back to the days when you actually had to interact with your spouse and entertain yourselves without the aid of all this extra technology we now have at our fingertips.
While I was reading her post it brought me back to 2004 and our honeymoon that Marc and I spent in Jamaica. For the most part it was gorgeous and we spent countless hours lying around the pool and on the beach, swimming and reading (actual books!). It was a great way to conclude our wedding festivities and kick off our married life.
This was 2004--pre-smart phones, Facebook, Twitter and the like. This was around the time that I remember being so excited just to have a cell phone with a full keyboard with which to text easier. No more texting using the number pad and having to press each button either once, twice or three times to get the appropriate letter. (Wow, as I write that it really is amazing how far technology has come.) Regardless, it was a social media-free trip. I think our last one.
When I think back to that trip I think about all the time we spent freely talking. About everything and anything. Not things we saw pop up on our "timelines" or "breaking news." And laughing. We laughed so much. And we still do--Marc can make me laugh like no one else.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT anti-technology or anti-social media. In fact I think it's safe to say that I am it's poster child. I love it all. In moderation, of course, but I am a big fan of the connectivity of social media. I like that as a stay-at-home mom, I have a community at my fingertips. It really does make me feel less alone.
But. Things have changed. Part of it is being married for almost 10 years (this summer--wow!). Some of it is having children. And a portion of it is technology. Because it is more common than not that after the kids are in bed for Marc and I to be scrolling on our devices and commenting on what we are reading but not really interacting. And then when we do decide to do something together, it typically revolves around our very full DVR.
None of these things are bad. I like TV. I like social media. I love my husband. (Not in that order; social media totally beats TV.) But there's something about that time, newly married, not so distracted, that I found myself yearning for. So I decided to copy Cari (of Dugan in Cahoots) and make a date night. In our home. With the TV and phones off.
When thinking about what we could do I once again drifted back to the summer of 2004 and our time in Jamaica. Although the weather was mostly beautiful we did have a 24 hour period of not-so-nice weather. A little storm passed our island. A storm called Hurricane Charley. During that time Marc and I took advantage of the all-inclusivness of the resort we were at by having a couple of Red Stripes (by the pitcher) and playing countless games of cards (Rummy 500). And we talked. And laughed. It is the day that I remember the best and have the fondest memories of, from that entire trip.
So that's when I decided what we were going to do on our date night.
We were going to play cards and have a couple of beers (minus the Red Stripes, these days I prefer Summit).
So we sat down to our dinner of pizza (it's kind of "our meal"), laughed, played cards, drank beer, splurged on some excellent dessert, and laughed some more. It was perfect (minus about a 1/2 hour interruption from a little girl who was a little constipated--they never let us forget we are parents, do they?).
All of this reminded me that relationships need work, no matter how comfortable they feel. And sometimes turning off social media actually connects you to the world around you.
We already have plans for our next "date" night. And I can't wait.
xo Sara