About six months ago, I stood at the door with my son, watching as my oldest walked away with another mom. I heard her chatting excitedly about the play they were going to see with ballerinas and princesses, and when the mom opened the minivan door I heard squeals of delight as the friends greeted each other.
My 4-year-old was going on a play date, without me.
I was starting to let her go. Letting E have experiences without me. Letting her navigate the world on her own.
That was just the beginning.
In two days, she'll start kindergarten. I'm excited for her to experience the world through her own eyes; to develop her own opinions, thoughts and feelings.
But, yeah, I'm a little sad, too. And nervous.
Letting go is not easy. Whether it's letting go of your infant when you return to work after maternity leave, your 5-year-old when they start school or your 18-year-old when they head off to college...it's all hard.
As a parent, you can only hope that you've sufficiently prepared them for the next stage.
Which is more than just learning the ABCs and 123s.
I hope I've taught my daughter to be assertive and not hear "bossy" and think it's a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with being in charge and having ideas. However, compromise is an equally important concept to help balance out that assertive trait. It's important to step back and let others have a turn. That's what leaders do--they aren't afraid to let others shine; they are confident enough in themselves to let others have their moments, too.
I also hope I've taught her to be confident in her ideas and not let the negative talk of others bring her down. Kids can be mean. Every single mother I know of kids (mainly girls) in the late elementary years (and especially in middle school) has a "mean girl" story. It happens. I experienced it, pretty much everyone I know has experienced it in some way. I want my daughter to be confident in herself and not let the hurtful words of others hurt her--at least not too much. Words hurt no matter how "prepared" we think we are.
But, even more important than that, I want my daughter to NOT be a mean girl. I want her to be inclusive and loving. I want her motto to be "Do you want to sit with us?" and not "You can't sit here."
Confident. Kind. Inclusive. Compassionate. These are the things I hope I've taught my daughter a little of before she heads off to kindergarten.
On our way to Kindergarten open house.
Oh, and one more thing. A warning to both my kids as they enter the school-age years: I will always back up the teacher. I will always believe the teacher. And if you've been disrespectful to your teacher...
We'll be talking.
xo Sara
{P.S. Now that I've (mostly) accepted that my daughter is moving on to the next stage, here's the time I realized we were officially out of the baby phase.}