Dear M,
I’ve known you for 24 years — almost half your life. But when you think about your adult years, you’ve spent more time with me than without (lucky!).
It’s crazy to think back on those early years…filled with gigs and friends and baseball trips and a puppy (Copper!) and our first home (and our lovely neighbor Ethel who adored you)…when life felt so full yet we knew we wanted more. I’m so grateful we took those six years (plus the two before we were married) with just us before we opened our world up to babies.
Us as babies!!!
Then we moved into our next phase of life and never looked back. What a journey these past 16 years have been.
All our prep for our firstborn and then the absolute chaos when we learned we were having a second baby when our newborn was 12-ish weeks old.
Then we had one baby who didn’t like to sleep during the day and screamed basically the first 4 months of her life (love you E, you were just testing out those vocal cords) and trying all options to calm her down including playing your guitar for her…which resulted in one of my favorite videos, just for your look at the end. We. Tried. Everything.
And another baby who didn’t like to sleep more than 3- 4 hours at a time for months (love you B, you never did like to be away from the action) and so you and I alternated who slept downstairs so the other could get some uninterrupted sleep. You did this even though you had to get up the next morning and go to work. You saved my sanity.
You would also take Saturday morning shifts with the kids when they were little so I could sleep in one day. And during those mornings, introduced the kids to Star Wars when they were maybe a little too young but creating passionate fans.
The years of me staying at home with our kids and our bonus kids (heart you N and A) and you knowing that when you got home, I may need some quiet time.
Our (almost) annual family trips to the beach in Florida to spend time with your mom and Bob. So many special memories from those vacations. Plus our other little adventures…Madden’s, Milwaukee/Chicago, KC/STL, Mexico.
Sharing a love of music with both the kids. E loves concerts as much as you and I love that you two go to all sorts of music together — people that she has introduced you to (like Ben Platt) and those that you have shared with her (obviously Bruce Springsteen).
And taking that love of music one step further, sharing the stage with your daughter — you’ve fully embraced her love of performing and, whenever you can, you include her for a song during your gigs.
After losing Copper it was very hard to even think of another dog. But once we met Luna, we fell in love and YES, you are the favorite. But, in fairness, all dogs seem to love you.
The Covid years in our little house: getting the kids set up with their spaces, you creating a work space in the basement to use while I was upstairs. And driving all over the city to find bikes for the kids and a basketball hoop for B. And of course there were our Marvel movie and Modern Family marathons during our time of house arrest.
Of course there is all the coaching you’ve done over the years — from the early basketball days all the way through travel and eventually travel baseball, too — you were an integral part of B’s athletic development. But even when you’re not coaching, you are your kids’ number one fan, their biggest supporter. You are there for every concert, play, synchronized swimming competition, game, match, race, school event. You do not miss anything.
In addition to being your kids’ biggest fan, you also just genuinely take an interest in whatever we are all passionate about. Nowadays it looks like you talking musical theater and pop culture with your daughter and getting deep into Duke basketball stats with your son. But in years past it was sharing E’s joy with her paper dolls and playing super heroes with B. And then there is me…you have acquired a taste for the MN State Fair due to my passion about it.
And let’s not forget how big of a fan your kids are of you.
Your initial resistance in moving was real (we truly had the best neighborhood and we loved our little house on Colorado Avenue but we also had two growing kids and one bathroom) but the moment you walked through what would become our new home, you knew. In an instant your hesitation disappeared and you realized we’d found the place our next chapter would begin.
Taking the lead on E’s driving experience. You took her to get her permit (the day we are leaving for Europe, I might add), you’ve been her coach behind the wheel (something we have all acknowledged would not be a good fit for me to do), and eventually you’ll be giving up your precious 2014 CRV to her. I think you’ve earned a new car.
Starting a tradition of baseball trips with B and your friends. A tradition B adores and has the best memories from. And I love the bond he has with your friends, they are an integral part of his life.
Speaking of your friends, the way you have stayed connected with your core group and all the ways you show up for them is a beautiful thing. You are incredibly loyal and I love the traditions you have with them, like your annual Gopher road trip.
Then there are all the sporting events we go to, from Gopher football games (and celebrating big wins on the field) to Twins games and Timberwolves games and even Vikings games (sorry, I know those aren’t your favorite…and I will begrudgingly say you’re right about one thing: Lambeau is a pretty incredible place to watch a football game), races at Canterbury, and more.
And we can’t forget the fact that you cook, you shop, you do whatever you can for your family to make sure we are taken care of in all ways. Including by being my cardboard box fairy—you magically make all the boxes I leave by the door disappear! I don’t know how you do it.
Finally, I want to celebrate how special you make me feel.
Your willingness (and eagerness!) to go on new adventures with me, including our European adventure last summer. You are my favorite person to travel with.
How you bring me coffee in bed every morning.
The way you always making me feel like the most beautiful, smartest, accompished woman in any room.
How you brag about me to others.
You are the picture of love, dependability, patience, kindness, and encouragement. You are the things we want to see in our kids and the fact that we do is in no small part due to the example that you have set.
I love you, we love you. This is a big birthday but the number doesn’t say anything about who you are. I hope these words do.