But through it all, B’s spirit has been, in many ways, the glue to this family. His joy and laughter and words (all the millions of words he speaks every hour of every day) bring so much happiness to our home. Although there are times that I wish I didn’t live with a live, never-ending, talking sports ticker (I’m not kidding he really doesn’t stop talking), I still wouldn’t change anything about him.

I joke about wanting to freeze time because it’s going too fast but I want to tell you a secret. I am actually MORE excited to watch you grow up and see the woman you will become. Because I can already tell you are going to be one inspiring and compassionate woman and I can’t wait to say, “See her? I’m her mom.”

B is straight-up funny. It’s not just what he says, it’s his timing and his ability to read a room and play up things. He’s a natural entertainer. And let me tell you—given what the past couple of months have been like out in the world, I have needed his humor and spirit like never before.

I woke up one morning recently with the sudden realization: E is one year away from being in the double digits. It took me back to when she was negative years old and I counted things by months—that was the last time double digits were mentioned in conjunction with her age. And in so many ways that feels both like yesterday and a decade ago.

He has discovered his love of reading on his own and being read to, preferably by his sister, which basically melts my heart. And the craziest thing happened: I saw him reading more on his own and I got sad.

And in that moment it all changed. I've joked in the past about E growing up so fast and being Miss Independent, but I always had my baby--I always had B. And suddenly--he became Mr. Independent and I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR ALL THE FEELINGS.